So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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