But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
