When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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