I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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