On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
