We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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