I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Life is so much better after having sex.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
