I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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