Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
