yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
