doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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