that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
