took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
ttyl tear gas
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
