its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Is it penis luge time yet?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
