We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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