4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
