Christians are straight up FREAKS
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
