I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
is wine microwaveable?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
