when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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