with your own penis?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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