You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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