ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
