Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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