so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
one might say we're banned from that church
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
