barbara walters just said penis...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i believe in u and ur pee
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
