She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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