i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
