Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
