Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
