I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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