I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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