I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
