ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yo dont text me then not text me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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