I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
