I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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