She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
