Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
