is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
