You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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