Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
