You can't motorboat a personality
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
