I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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