youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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