Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
