at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
