awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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