he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
