If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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