SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
