i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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