so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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